Stoners get a bad rap. Our greatest spokesman to the world is Jeff Spicoli, from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Don't get me wrong, all stoners have a little Spicoli, after all, he was one of the most endearing idiots ever to appear on the silver screen. And his lines were Classic.

"This is US History, I see the globe right there."

But there are other stoners who hide their Green Shame under the oppressive thumb of conservative American society. Some of our greatest entertainers toke up, obviously. But beyond that some of our greatest thinkers. Carl Sagan was a fan of the bud and figured out how all matter on Earth came into being, or so he thought one night after a huge spliff of some Humboldt green. President Barack Obama smoked it while fabricating his American citizenship in Kenya, or something like that. Stephen King tokes frequently, no shit, who woulda thought?

"I can remember one occasion, taking a shower with my wife while high, in which I had an idea on the origins and invalidities of racism in terms of gaussian distribution curves,'' wrote  former Cornell University professor Sagan.  "I wrote the curves in soap on the shower wall, and went to write the idea down."

Newt Gingrich toked it up, George W. begrudgingly gave it up so he could be handed the presidency. Founder of the Men's Warehouse and guaranteer George Zimmer keeps a pack of joints on him at all times. There are a thousand blogs out there detailing all this stuff. The reason there are a thousand blogs out there is because they are trying to debunk the idea that Spicoli is the average stoner.

So I call out to all the professional stoners, who practice law, medicine, the arts and video games to step forward and say aloud, "I AM A STONER, HEAR ME TOKE"