Due to my extremely liberal views regarding marijuana, most of my casual friends think that I am or at least was once a pothead. My closest friends and family, however, know that I’ve never tried the stuff from simple lack of interest. Frankly, my vices are food and sex, and I’d rather take part in those rather than in getting high. I’m already hyperactive and giggly enough without adding anything to the mix.

That said, I have always been a steadfast hemp activist, happily sporting “Free the Ganja” web badges and even buying products made from hemp. I simply think it’s ridiculous that people are jailed for smoking or growing or even having pot when people who smoke carcinogenic cigarettes—around me and my kid, no less, making us inhale it by proximity, something that I have no choice in—and who drink themselves to death, ruining their families, are perfectly allowed to do these things under law. I’m not saying that these things should be outlawed (indeed, we saw how that went!), though I do think tobacco companies should not be allowed to sell products that kill their customers; I am saying it’s a grotesque double standard that penalizes people, tears apart families, and wastes our tax dollars when, let’s face it, they’re already being spent like our country is a spree in Vegas.

So no, I don’t think pot should be illegal at all. And no, I don’t think that people should be drug tested to work on a general basis, unless such an impairment would interfere with, say, operating heavy machinery. In such cases, however, I would add that a breathalyzer should also be mandated, since alcohol could impact one’s work just as much, if not even more, than drugs.

I don’t think that drug testing should be required for receiving government aid, either. After all, if it were, all of the banks would have to pay their money back, now, wouldn’t they? I bet those high rollers have white noses on many a weekend! Okay, that was sort of baseless, but still, it’s, again, a double standard. Then you’d have to start asking everyone to pee in a cup before they get anything—from food stamps to pap smears to a birth on Medicaid, right?

And I say this knowing a few people who do get government aid while taking drugs—and one of them is a person I don’t like much, who could work if the person tried to, and is basically a bit of a leech. In fact, not many people I know do like this person. But one example should not set the precedent; that’s just silly. And that leads me to my next point.

Most of the people who do agree that you should be drug tested for aid say that since they have to be tested, so should those who receive aid. Yeah, that just doesn’t make sense. “Well, I don’t think I should have to pee for my job, but since I do, so do you!” That’s like saying well, I don’t agree with the death penalty (or any other huge topic of your choice), but since they kill ‘em off in Texas, they should do it here, too, just to make it fair.

Well, you choose to work somewhere that requires drug testing. You might say, uh, yeah, but you choose to take drugs, too! Aside from my earlier statements, which I think suffice alone, it’s also not fair to penalize a family whose matriarch is addicted to a drug, but still works two jobs to support her family and herself—and still doesn’t make enough to make ends meet. That’s a travesty, an outrage, and is much more disturbing to me than her drug habit (though I do agree that she should be given help, and help free of charge at that, consider how seriously we take this “war on drugs” crap).

I used to volunteer at the food pantry, and I’d have other volunteers whisper about how this girl had an ADIDAS jacket, or this man came in a fancy car, and they didn’t “deserve” the food. Really? Does anyone really not deserve to eat? How dare you. You have no idea what these people are going through—and even if you are right (and I don’t really care if you are), for every entitled-looking man, I saw three dirty kids or old people with an injury or tattered clothes waiting on sustenance that would keep them going for another week.

And as a fellow human being, I support that. I support my brothers and sisters, no matter their vices or mistakes; wouldn’t you want the same courtesy?