New stoners are often nervous about when to smoke. Rookies sometimes think the best time to smoke is during a party, which is absolutely the right time to smoke herb. But, there are so many other great times to smoke. I've compiled this short list of great times to have a toke.
1. Before you watch a comedy or sci-fi movie: I smoked with my boys before we saw Avatar 3D, I'll just say I thought I was a bio-luminescent Jake Sulley sitting there with my 3D glasses on. Movies are an excellent place to be stoned.
2. Theme Parks: the more stoned you are here, the less the idiot gangsters and fat people will bug you. There is no feeling like hitting the apex of a coaster rise, seeing the drop unfold before you, then clutching the shoulder bar as you scream towards a stoney death. And get a churro for good measure.
3. After Thanksgiving Dinner: This may seem counter-intuitive, but get through the first meal while everyone is still focussed. Once the food coma hits Uncle Jim, head out back with all the delinquent members of your family and spark a fatty. While Jim is catatonic watching the Cowboys get spanked, hit round two of the annual feast and indulge the munchies. The restraint you showed during the dinner will pay off now.
4. Pick up Basketball: Yup. I played my best game of basketball after a huge team joint. It was a fake pass from under the hoop into a layup that left the defense facing the wrong way. I also heard that the Ping-Pong wall repetition champ of the world sparks up before he sets records, so...
5. The Commute Home: Yeah, it's highly illegal, but traffic should be too. Once you are safely parked on the expressway, pull out your doob and your favorite music, spark it and hit play. You'll be home without a single word of profanity. Shit, you'll even let people merge in front of you. It's a win-win for society.
6. When writing: School, essays, letters to grandma and , of course, when you blog on Ganjarama. There's just a flow of ideas that can't be matched. DO NOT DO MATH STONED, you've been warned.
7. When Having Sex: Pot tends to make many of those dumb little inhibiting mental hang-ups we have fade away. Not the important ones, like conciousness, but the needless ones, like am I too fat? Will she like my technique? Is he looking at my thighs? Those little nagging questions get in the way of good sex. A little toke of the herb and you are free to pursue the positive aspects of sex and linger in the sensual.
OBVIOUS ONES: Concerts, parties, boat trips, camping, the beach and surfing.
When NOT TO SMOKE
2. In an airport.
3. Shit, I don't know, I'll smoke anytime.
* DISCLAIMER: Ganjarama in no way advocates illegal activities, aside from smoking weed, DUI and general civil disobedience. YOUR MOM's behind you! Just kidding.
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